Overwhelmed

I have been absolutely overwhelmed with work and life, in general. Lots of deadlines and quite a number of new things popping up at work to learn and figure out. I have been not doing well with the control part and I haven't used headspace this week yet. I think it is still better to write what I need to get done out somewhere so that I can let go of the disposable to-do lists and clear my head so I have space to think clearly about the work being done at the moment. Here it goes...

This week-

-finish tool fingerprint audit (Wed/Fri)
-Headspace released singles for free (!! good bye world)
-weekend plans (lavender/berry farm, picnic, cider fest?)
-make some progress on infinity package, follow up on subfab access
-filter prime (thursday)
-networking bowling (thursday)
-filter change (friday morning)
-incredibles2 tickets (friday)
-networking lunch (friday)
-weekly summary (friday before leaving work)
-possible contractor time for down line (Friday afternoon)
-plane tickets for wedding
-nyc plane tickets if they're still <$300
-airbnb by silver falls
-sofa and area rug stuff

!! Feeling overwhelmed.

Grown Up Stuff

I realize I am doing adult (read: grown up) activities now such as:

-wanting subscriptions to travel and cooking magazines
-having a lot of interest in picking out flooring/wall swatches
-booking in time slots for lunch and dinner socials (like a responsible person instead of impulsively making plans, there are pros and cons to this)
-listening to podcasts
-meditation apps
-frequency of online browsing for furniture > clothing
-not necessarily investing, but doing a lot of personal finance management
-CNBC articles are an interesting morning read
-LinkedIn is a fun social media site
-FB is becoming too wild and a bore
-trading business cards
-thinking about property value and home investments
-when "home furnishings" and "groceries" exceed "retail/shopping" in my weekly financial summary
-having interest in buying tech for home such as EcoBee sensors for the rooms, or debating between an Alexa and Google Home (thoughts anyone?)
-grocery shopping is so fun/writing down a lot of recipes
-wanting to start a lifestyle/cooking blog (yeah, again? I know, eyeroll)

I feel like some of these are good for personal growth, maturing, and development, and the others just like to y i k e s because I feel so old and too responsible it's a bit scary. I can't tell if I'm becoming financially responsible or boring.

Reads

More articles I find fascinating or just great as an F Y I...
-How inequality is linked to mental illness
-Eating too much fruits
-Health of today's millennials
-Top CEOs, employee choice
-Fighting for quality, How Google Hires

Been focused on personal/career development lately...I have been able to secure some network/people to make connections with regarding moving forward in my career but I am unsure of how to proceed or communicate. I also feel that with the people I've already secured communication with, I have done it wrong thus offending them and perhaps burning that bridge already. Gah.

Something HBR wrote that I found quite helpful was: "...the difference as working to pull people into your network rather than pushing your way into theirs. '...teach our people how to draw people to their ideas and create energy in interactions from day one...embrace the approach, you’re much more likely to connect well' "🤔

Reading about venture capitals and angel investors today... etc etc. I have absolutely zero knowledge in these [finance/business/start up] areas/fields but they have captivated my interest...

SG's article on stories, selling, and demand. A little how-to-acquire VC Support/Integration

Keratin Lifts

I've been doing some research on lash lifts since I saw a little article about them on social media. It seems like a better option than lash extensions (was contemplating on them for a while) because of their low maintenance and cost value. The articles I've looked at are focused on keratin treatments and specifically done by a BH-based technician named Elysee using the YUMI formula. The keratin treatments argues that they have no parabens or ammonia products, which make them friendlier and safer. The three brands that are "safer" are YUMI, Elleebana (MSDS), and LVL. This blog talks about how these three are basically identical, just marketed in different countries.

Some articles about good lash lift things.
Byrdie
Vogue
possible dangers
And a read on lash serums

Overly emotional, particularly on the low/down side.

Weekly Gems

Some of my weekly musings:

[to READ]: Control Your Life. | Untouchable Day.
[to WATCH]: Saw Upgraded when I went home, I think it has a good plot that makes you think about biotech implant/AI ethics.
[to LISTEN]: Navara, Op. 33 | Sarasate

I started reading an ebook since I wanted to make most use out of the tablet. I'm reading Maddie Dawson's Matchmaking for Beginners, I didn't think much of the book when I downloaded it, but after reading it for a short hour on the plane I got totally sucked into it. Recently, I have been visiting the doctor every week for the past three weeks already, seems a little sad but also reassuring at the same time. I got my first physical ever today which felt totally invasive, and they gave me a (my long overdue) tdap shot. All health related things seem to move so fast ever since I started seeing my physician here, I haven't had a primary care physician since I was probably an infant. It feels overwhelming to have to make so many (big) decisions so fast. I'm still practicing meditating with Headspace, probably not as religiously as I'd prefer but it really helps calm my anxiety. I have scheduled a(nother) appointment to establish mental wellness care. We will see where that takes me.

Bad things recently:
-I have missed one whole night of pages because I was having a breakdown and I didn't think properly about how if I ran a requalifying sample, I would have to monitor it until it finished. Result? My engineer freaked out, probably got mad, and thinks I am really irresponsible. After telling them I would work on not doing it again, I did it again later that night because I didn't think that I would have to follow up a lot to make sure it passes. Why? I don't know. I'm not in a wonderful state of mind.
-I feel that I have been very explosive with my train of thoughts, projecting my unidentifiable source of anger and anxiety onto my personal relationship. Result? Self destruction of my relationship done by my own self, what's new?
-OL drama w Trev

Good things:
-This should be filed under materialistic things, but Peter and I got tickets to go to Outsidelands again this year! Except this year we are only going for one day. I'm very excited since it will be on my birth day!
-Nothing much. A lot of family drama that I don't wish to be a part of.
-Ok, I shouldn't be so negative because that is what I'm working on. Here's one thing: I've cut shopping down for a bit and my bills are set to auto pay so I'm not freaking out about that as much anymore.

Journaling

Not sure if anyone still reads or follows this blog. But I am thankful for its existence because it creates a safe space for me to journal my thoughts, happenings, and emotions. Even if they're just pointless rambling.

I read an article the other day about gratitude journaling. I feel that it would be beneficial to start gratitude journaling, but it would be hard to be able to contribute and stick to it daily especially when I'm having my low days (I have been diagnosed with moderate depression...shocker much?). This blog lets me have a space where I do not feel pressured to contribute to, let alone documenting positive thoughts. I feel that having to post positive thoughts lead to faking at the end.