28 February 2009

i had an 8 hour colorguard practice today.
wow intesnzeee :D
then i left for an hour to go to math tutor and came back. we painted the floor and baby powdered it.
i smelT like a babies' but now im all nice and clean

2 slices of pizza, 3 sodas, 2 waters, one apple, 2 muffins, 1 orange, a plate of grapes. = what i ate. wow.
then i felt like dying on the floor

i have 3 parallels in the show now. :l wonderful. if i slice my head off then you'll know why.

ashley and i went to spectrum yesterday. we went shoppping and i got 2 lovely tops from forever 21 cos i only had fourty dollars to spaare. a tunic and a ruffled top. i wanted so much more rehhh :l

but then we went to watch "hes just not that into you" it was an ohkay movie but it was so cute (: ahah. i fancy that.
souplantation for dinner after that and then i found out i can't tell jokes ahhaha


26 February 2009

fear of you

blah hahaah this is like the millionth one of my online things. but im going to keep it as private as possible now for stalker’s sake. hm i dont know what to write so i’ll just write some basics that i like and what not. its basically copied from my other sites ha. (: ahh btw. i want the curious case of benjamin button soundtrack lots! i have so much homework to do but procrasination pwns me :l

Before, my fear was being vulnerable.

The ability of another human being to possibly
tear apart your insides at any moment was enough to keep me running.

He, however, made my insides come alive,
my smile become permanent, laughter more frequent.

He took away my fear & gave me hope.

But more importantly, for the first time in my life,
instead of wanting to run,
he gave me a reason to stay.

but the day he left me, I see my two stars erupt like satellites & began to fall.

slowly falling, the nightmare of the inside turned out, the unravellin; exploding limbs, mangled flesh, cracked by the impact of bone on bone.

when i look up, the sky is filled with bright blue hearts lit up with fire, when i look down i see my organs torn from their holes.
this is what its like...
a heart bursting, entropy in reverse, everything gets messed up, the senses crossing.
to die..
i finish the sentiece, that i will eternally finish the thoughts.
& i dont know anything except that-
i am not in love with anyone anymore.