29 December 2010

c&b forever and ever

If you want to fly, you got to give up that shit that weighs you down.
-Toni Morrison

25 December 2010

Joyeux Noël ~

Merry Christmas to everyone!! (:
-from Utah & Nevada

I hope everyone is doing fine, and everyone is staying safe in this holiday season! I'll be back and update/loading in two days, till then...joyeuses fêtes !


22 December 2010

My heart is in pain but I'm smiling for you

drinking: earl grey tapioca milk tea
currently playing: Stereo Love | Edward Maya ft. Vika Jigulina

brb. going to Utah.

Friday frenzy-The crêpe party kicked off pretty well. I had my fail cooking moments teehee... And it was pretty fun playing psychologist acting like a bunch of loonies
Sleepy Saturday hmm.. I can't really recall what happened during the day. But I went to the DSC holiday party at night; cookie decorating, festive food, ornament paintings, raffles, and the norm socializing.
Stock-up Sunday- slept in late, lunch at P&O, and then went to stock up on skii apparel and equipment.
Monday mornings spent at Panera Bread with Chris. We managed to scare off everyone sitting behind us, and we hogged the big table and both the outlets the entire 6 hours while we were there. It's actually quite a calming way to kick off winter break. I don't really like to work (school work) at Panera Bread as much as I do at Starbucks. But I guess sitting there with my laptop and papers all spread out, conventionalizing with Chris, and gazing out the big glass window at the non-stop pouring rain is rather amusing; not to mention the huge mug of latte washing down the last of my pain au chocolat. It's a nice combination.
Teeming wet tuesday-yesterday; I finally went shopping for myself yesterday with my mum and sister. Chris was going to join but she couldn't. I picked up a Marc by Marc Jacobs watch, fuzzy oversized shrunk knit, and pencil skirt at Nordstroms. Pain au chocolat en baguette for today's trip at Vie De France. After walking around and looking, we mall hopped to the Spectrum. I bought a beautiful ring at H&M, box top from CottonOn, macarons (pistache de Sicile, raspberry mascarpone, thé earl grey) from la napolean for today's trip, and a pair of black ankle cigarette pants from UO because they were on sale.
Hmm, I tested the nail polish that Chloe and Chris gave me. The dark blue one (chloe) is beautiful and extremely elegant looking. And the pink glaze one (chris) is effortlessly chic. Thank you (:

Even though I'm the type to be free and much of an 'explorer'-never wanting to be in one place too long, I feel that a part of me hidden deep within me is this person that finds comfort in schedule and routine. Like how I always order the same thing at the same shops; and how I always resort to doing the same thing in the same orderly fashion. And how I always fancy sticking to a certain manner of procedure, or going to the same places over and over again. Maybe it's the nostalgia and the memories that were first captured. I don't know.

Anyways- break has kicked off pretty well, I've been watching segments Harry Potter on blue-ray every day. (i have yet to watch the newest one out.) I think I should hurry up and get going with my supplement essays. I'm about done with my CU app, so good luck to myself on that one. In an hour or so; I'll be in Vegas, and tomorrow in Brian Head. Hopefully it isn't cold to the extremes. Okay! Got to go finish the last bit of this essay and pack my bags!


16 December 2010

when someone says summer,

i instantly recall back to this past summer. the very excited feel of the first few weeks of chemistry class, and the new lab manual, and the feeling of being able to own your own pairs of googles...then it turns into this horrid stomach turning memory of dreading to go to class, not wanting to fail another test, or confront my personal life. it was a time when i just wanted to live in a bubble, study what i wanted to study, and have my happily ever after.

but instead it was polluted with the chemical-contaminated air with the afterscent of janitor cleaning supplies and the empty clunking of distant footsteps slowly shuffling down the hall of the 200s building. it was the slow closing of doors and sudden running sounds...quickly disappearing.

and then it was the need to disappear every morning after exiting my mom's car. it was the need to find my way into the library to hide, and protest the 8 hour classes. it was my way of rebelling lectures, society, and personal problems. it was dashing up the half turned carpeted-stairs; light footsteps grazing the carpet as i make a circle around the entire upstairs in rush to find a quiet study room where i can just throw my belongings onto the table and throw my entire body half on the table and plop myself into a chair and weep my insecurities away.

it was the rare visits of grace wuang in the summer trying to comfort me. it was the quiet notefolding, origami thankyou notes passed around as whispers of sincerity were exchanged.

it was the really difficult labs that were eased by Steve's jokes accompanied with victor's remarks and kayane's shaking of her head. it was the moments when the professors let us off the hook because we had established a connection with him. it was the other teams asking steve and i how to do experiments because we were always done first. it was the talks of woodbridge, marching band, and college. it was the times Kayane Victor and I shared after class while waiting at the bus stop benches. The times where we epically failed a test and tried to comfort each other.

It was when I didn't really care whether this D+ was better than my F- last time. It was when I just wanted happy. When I wanted to be care-free. It was when I wanted to release this weight and pretend nothing happened. It was when I hid my sadness deep within me and put on the fake smile for Victor, Steve, and Kayane.

When someone says 'summer', it's the nostalgic chemical smell of cleaning substances and the distant clunking of one's footsteps down the hall as I rush frantically to class, and the sound of fluttering loose leaf notes at the end of lectures when I'm the last person left in the classroom.