12 December 2014

"Fat" Girls Don't Belong In Paris

So the first night I got to Paris 3 years ago, my aunt and I went to a Japanese restaurant somewhere near Colette, and we ordered what would be equivalent to a 'set' meal in the US, but we "made the set" ourselves if that made sense. So we ordered a salad to share. A rice each. And a piece of baked salmon for each. And when our food came to the table, the entire restaurant was looking at us, pointing, and giggling.
Not because we were Asian, they weren't racist, but because we were eating like pigs.

Everyone in the restaurant was sharing something. All the girls would have a bowl of soup and then the three of them would share a sashimi box. Let me repeat that- a sashimi box. Yes like 8 pieces of fish for 3 people to share. For dinner. And soup for some, and then maybe an entire bottle of wine, and a teeny tiny dessert (i.e. bite size mochi with a dalop of red bean on top).

So I guess, when in Paris, enjoy the food, but don't stuff yourselves.

P.S. I did not end up finishing it because it was actually too much. (ha ha) But I did not intentionally "unfinish" my meal...I guess I'm made to live in Paris ;] (jk i wish).
PPS. I didn't even take much offense to their pointing and giggling because I was the skinniest person in the room anyways so whatever ha ha to your muffin tops. But yeah incredible.
PPPS. I don't actually think "fat" girls don't belong in Paris. I just think they'd probably be mocked at all day considering they mocked a skinny girl for ordering over-sized.

Squad Goals

You don't know the true meaning of "squad goals" until you've been to Capri, Italy and see a group of amazing looking people (couples) dressed in black from head to toe. I'm talking 6" black stilettos, black slim-fit tuxedos, tight edgy midi-skirt-length dresses, (completely blacked out) sunglasses and matte bloody-red lipstick.
All of them walking towards the Grand Hotel Quisisana wearing this smug yet stern facial expression. And you're not sure if they're going to a funeral, or if they're part of a mafia, maybe a gang?....until you suddenly see the bride and groom emerge from the inside of the hotel.

And that my friends, is my new squad goal.
Because. Damn son, that's fierce as f*ck.

//i miss capri

11 December 2014


Your lies were hard...kisses in the summer I was dreaming of a lake,
Dreaming of the water where I'd rise like a phoenix or an iron from the fire
I've got things to tell you like,
I know that you're a liar....

06 December 2014

Warm Hollow Thing

Looked at some of my high school's peep's Facebook page to update myself about their lives. (Useless me wasting time, I know.) And I see how happy they are married now, or out of state, or chasing their dreams, or pregnant, or single handedly trying to raise a child. Sucks to be some of them, and envious of others.

It just makes me feel nostalgic and brings me back to 10th grade when I remember we were all in the same class making the same stupid jokes with Mr. Mamer etc. How C and my biggest worries was how to do homework, why do we have so much homework, are we going to make it? While the others' worried about when class was going to end so they could go hang out, or if they were all going to the game this friday.

I don't know. It's all dumb. Plus half of them don't even recognize me anymore.
But it makes me so sad and sensitive when I think back to those days.


03 December 2014

Big Eyes

listening to: Big Eyes | Lana Del Rey

Having immature, lazy, and materialistic thoughts. per usual...hey what else is new?
`Want these boots.
`Want to be in LA right now.
`Feeing broken
`Desperately wanting to see Lana at the Bowl (is that perfect or what), but it's a Monday show.
`Wondering if you still care, but why should I care
`Need direction, but don't want to take any advice, lacking focus

Someone take me on a cute coffee date please, and buy me some distressed boyfriend denim bottoms.

I'm not a teenager anymore.
Why do I act like one.


listening to: i can fly | lana del rey
mood: somewhere between caffeinated, lost, and tired

Trying to avoid reality, so I'm here.

I am continuously struggling with self identification.
Part of me wants to get my stuff ready for school, be ferocious and classy (whatever that means), and make it to NYC.
The other half of me wants to keep it real and live it LA style. I mean, after all, that's where I'm from right? Truly east-side reppin'. I want to keep things raw, edgy, real, and black like all our tainted souls from this broken city of angels.

But it's no surprise that I'm torn in half like this, after all it's reflective in the things I (am/want to) study. Forever a whirlwind of chaos.

01 December 2014

mood: chilly
listening to: oh sailor | mr little jeans

It's the first day of December, which means we're in the last month of this year/2014!
I'm very happy today because I'm wearing my new Brandy shirt that I got, I know you can't tell because it's just a normal black shirt, but the sleeves fit nicely so I'm happy about it. :)

I want to be in NYC right now. I miss it so much....

December 1st
I'm in a foreign state, I'm running late
I'm all alone, wishing I was home with you baby
-The Maine

p.s. the title is not working on blogger and it's not letting me post a title!!!!

Do You Speak Prada?

I can relate to Rebecca Bloomwood so much.
Confessions of a Shopaholic speaks to me, because when I shop the world gets better.
Also because i'm kind of empty in the brain but whatever.

22 November 2014

We Be All Night

Somewhere on the brink of insanity, I fell in love with the idea of destroying myself.

18 November 2014

Skin Food's Nail Vita polish is very jelly like.
I approve.

07 November 2014

Opinionated truth

This is an opinion but I believe it's the truth.

"White" (caucasian) people of all race have so much more advantage in this world just because of their ethnicity/race/skin colour.
Get mad at me because you disagree, but iggy vs azealia is one of the clearest examples I can give you.

I am not saying white/caucasian people don't work hard for their success, but being 'white' gives them a(n) headstart/advantage to begin with. And I hate the fact that some caucasians don't realize this and take shit for granted.
I don't hate caucasian people, and I'm not (trying to be) racist, but I definitely feel that they abuse this right sometimes.

28 October 2014

wall posts

Reading Facebook wall posts between C and I literally make my heart skip beats even when I'm supposed to be doing homework or sleeping right now and it's 3:41 am because it reminds me of all the memories we had in high school.
Topics covered:
boys, heartbreaks, anxiety attacks, breakdowns, mean girls, ex-boyfriends, image issues, photoshop, photo sessions, movie dates, thrifting, swap meets, music, humanities homework, complimenting each other back and forth like crazy (lmfao), talking about school dances, talking about the things people say to us 'anonymously' and how mean people can be, trying to be 'scene' and 'hardcore' ahaha, baking (cupcakes and cookies), making rice krispie treats, getting our free copies of NYLON magazine, american apparel, Madrid & Europe trips, falling in (and out of) "love", self confidence issues, trying to compare who has a sexier body (envying each other), getting summer tutoring at Elite, finding a 3rd grade class mate through Myspace, this "vocabulary" homework that we keep talking about (what?? I don't even remember which class it's from), lots and lots of crying thanks to asshole/jerks, doing purikura pictures, wasting time trying to get each other to do homework and stop wasting time (lol circle of irony), college talks, talking about how awkward we are, a lot of "we must talk" "talk to mee!!" "go on AIM right now!!", my sweet 16th birthday party going jet skiing in Dana Point and screaming/running along the beach at 10pm, and our anti-mall runs (psh we've been going before people knew about it) (~*Tru h1pstErz*~)

Oh my gosh...people probably think I waste too much time looking back instead of focusing on the present and the future.
But I guess I'll always be a dreamer in my own world.

21 October 2014

I'm so fucked up right now. 
I spent an entire hour crying in class the other day, and then I wanted to feel in ballet so now my leg's fucked up. 

13 October 2014

I want you to want me this way
And I need you to need me to stay
If you say that you don't feel a thing
If you don't know, then just let me go.

ignore my dumb self

Things that hit me the hardest with hs nostalgia includes:

11th grade
dumb high school relationships
CG family & Ave Maria ♥ ♥ ♥ //Sara //CG MARRIAGES OMFG GUYS
going over to Kat&Char's to bake and just hang out
orchestra & all southern/honors orchestra/disneyland performances
marching band & disneyland performances & friday night football games
♥ sabre queen right here ♥
acoustic guitar / singing
dance (ballet/lyrical)
pop punk music and alt folk
sigur ros/sia/bon iver
meeting a lot of people at all the irvine high schools (Woodbridge/Irvine/Uni) and getting everyone to love and hate me in two different waves
the first time I went to NYC (dude my life changed 4ever)
karma hitting hard both ways
thinking that i was really going to pursue music/dance/advertisement as possible career fields
thrifting/brunching/coffee adventures/shopping/beach house with Chloe
September/October/November/December 11th grade

Wowowowowow this list basically sums up my high school life.
Remember the years when we fell in love while morning mist gathered in the early hours of the day, and the slow walks home under the soft swaying trees along the trails?

The future we would fabricate and dream about- what we really hoped for, was all uncertain. And how innocent everything was...and how perfect it all seemed.

Our lives was a story out of those cliche cheesy teenage romance novels.
We had it all.

I miss that so so much.

I miss Northwood so much and the shitastic memories it left me with.
How did I end up here?
When did we get so old, and how did time fly by so fast?

09 October 2014

headed for the open door

I want to make videos this winter break....if I get a bigger SD card, if I go somewhere interesting, or if I hang out with anyone besides myself LOL.

25 September 2014


Sick of low-life(s) stealing my ideas, tunes, and inspirations.
Go get your own imagination fuckers.

21 September 2014

Last day of summer 2014

now playing: Beggin For Thread | Banks
mood: happy

I am back from Italy! Pictures should be up on the photoblog soon, and the travel blog will have bits and pieces of details. Hopefully it won't take too long sorting through the memory card.
I am also back at the bakery. The rest of the week consists of opening shifts (starting 530am on some days). Knowing that I won't be working during the week and only during the weekends from now on until winter break saddens me because I love being in store and helping out. I'm starting to think I enjoy customer service jobs because I like making people happy etc.

Besides that, my life right now consists of trying to tidy home, school, and general things up. Uni finished the new apartments and I got to see them when I checked in the other day. Beautiful living spaces! I feel blessed to be next to and be able to use the facilities (as well as the new gym that we are going to be having). I'm also very pleased (so far) with my class schedule for the upcoming school quarter. I will update on that when I finish a week's worth of classes. (ohmygosh just found out my class doesn't start until 5pm on the first day of school?? haha!)

Fall starts as of tomorrow....
xo i

19 August 2014

Playin' in my play pretend

Everything is perfect about this. From the cinematography, to emotions, to the editing to the remix of the song.

I don't know...this is exactly how I felt/saw the world July 2010-late January 2011. I felt high and out of touch with the world. Fuck. I just wanted to touch and have feeling. I just wanted to laugh hysterically and feel pain at the same time. I wanted to wreck myself in the worst ways possible. I felt sexual, dumb, alive...and dead. I felt insane and messy. I was unstable 24/7.

How could I have been so worthless? To someone? To everyone?

16 August 2014

Emotional Strawberries.

Our strawberries croissants and katsu curry are the best selling items (in terms of the rate they get sold out at). The katsu is a story to tell another day.
Today we started temporarily running out of strawberry croissants at 3pm, meaning our kitchen can't keep the strawberry slicing and manual custard piping rate up with the rate customers are buying them out at. So we had to ask customers wait 30 minutes for them (if they wanted them) two diff times in the afternoon. People are so madly in love with them that they actually do wait. Anyways. When the final and last batch came out (the batches are determined by how many triangle strawberry croissant shells we make the day before and morning of, so we do sell out of them). Example: "I'll just take all of these" *points at what's left in the display case*. O_O
or sometimes customers will come in for a 6/14/35 pack (you can buy any amount, even 50+ if you preorder the day before) and then come in again! for another 6 because they had it for the first time and fell in love so deeply they want more. It's crazy really, and customers get so pissed over pastries. One couple called 20 minute prior to speaking with me and asked if there were any croissants left, and whoever answered the phone said yes they'll be out in 15 minutes. So the couple actually came into the store 20 minutes later and asked me if they could have some strawberry croissants. I had to break the news to them that we just sold out for the day....and they got SO PISSED. Like threw a "b*ch face at me" mad. And gave me attitude and asked why they ran out they just called....and I was like ?uh?they?sold?out?within?five?minutes? lol then they left. The same happens with other pastries. People get very emotional.



Finally tried Cream Pan's LE-NU iced coffee and their famous strawberry croissant today. The LE-NU is extremely aromatic in taste and scent, except the recipe has, or whoever makes it puts, too much sweetener in it. I would lessen the sugar (syrup?) by half, and have the customers ask for more if they prefer it sweeter. The strawberry croissants were heavenly, as rumored by customers who come in for 20+ pieces or come back for more in the same day. Flaky layers, crispy and crunchy texture, but soft and chewy on the inside with three pieces of strawberry slices and slightly sweet custard creme...♥
I also had a closing shift today so I could "experience" all the different shifts at the store. Very very tiring. I had to mop with a mop for the first time in my life today, and I never realized how inconvenient the mop wringer on the bucket was. (Don't get me wrong, I've used swifter before and before that I was on hands and knees scrubbing the floor, so it's not like I'm a total lazy ass). I was totally out of breath when I finished. I wiped the tables inside and out on the patio, swept the floor outside and in the store, cleaned the bathrooms, stacked the chairs, washed behind the counter, and learned how to lock up all the property out on the patio (the chairs, tables, and safety lock them). For the closing shift, we get to bring whatever is left over for a huge discount home. I thought I should try their apple croissant and the pan au raisin (pains aux raisin) so I got one of each, and then four almond croissants because my mom loves those, and then a small circular square bread that could pass off as a personal mini ciabatta? ciabatta roll? because they sell really good in the store. I got the 7 pastries, a tea, and a Le-Nu for only $3.60! :D (originally ~$15? I don't know)
I also got my uniform that I've been waiting for forever today! :D


12 August 2014

Hand-y dandy ladders.

You know what's fucking hilarious to me?

The fact that you'd stab someone
to step onto someone
then you pull them up at the same time.

And they think that they're getting some kind of a fucking deal
when it's actually a scam

And I'm watching it behind transparent curtains.

07 August 2014

AM outfit

Okay- seriously no one, literally, no one cares or will be caring besides me. 
But. I've got an idea. Like maybe kinda curled/crumpled hair with matte red lipstick and winged liner and leather jacket and cherry 1460s docs. 

Here's the tricky part- I have work until 3 but it's a bad idea to go into work with vampy or goth nails so I have to speed do that when I get home. Also pants and top? Should I do jeans or black slacks because I'm allowed to wear either to work. But what about my top?? Should I do it American way- trashy or the more proper and classy British way? (Cropped top vs dressy tank). 

Why do I even care so much my seat sucks lol. 

06 August 2014

Today Tonight Tomorrow

Sent stupid pics through InstaDirect, but had fun doing so.
Edited pictures for the upcoming post on SP while listening to Joyce Manor.
Bought Moleskines with B today for a good price, but still debating on whether I should keep them or not.
Heard back from the bakery...I got the job! And I'm starting my first shift this thursday 11-3pm.
Decided on which nail design/varnish colour to do for AM concert. (Thanks H)

Tomorrow I'm heading to school for the morning, most likely will lounge out at Starbucks and read, then head inland for lunch, then out to Silverlake for a doctor's appointment. Even though it's really nothing or close to having fun, I'm excited to be near LA :)

03 August 2014

Recently Repetitive

Now in pictures.

AM concert this Thursday and still not sure what to wear.
Should I paint my nails dark blue or dark red?

31 July 2014


Racism makes me hate myself and loathe myself for being anything but "white". 

But am I discrimating for disliking racists?

30 July 2014


It's the end of July. Here's a list of things I've been doing or have done:

>running to the post office a lot to send packages out
>going to my cousin's house to help out
>playing the piano
>started reading brain on fire (Cahalan's memoir is gooood!)
>cleaning out my room (still, yes I know)
>got tickets to see the Arctic Monkeys, which I am SO STOKED about!! ...even though the seats are not very good, but this decision was super last minute
>watching bob's burger
>going to the pool!
>watched 22 Jump Street
>getting (a lot of) juice at Nékter
>reached 2048 on the iPhone game
>started my own 'no-gym-needed' exercise routine
>applied for a bakery job...and crossing my fingers for it
>brainstormed some more ideas for my other blog :)

...August is just around the corner! Can't wait to see what the next month brings :)

21 July 2014


She had a face straight outta magazine

God only knows but you'll never leave her
Her balaclava is starting to chafe
And when she gets his gun he's begging, "Babe, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay."

I'll give you one more time
We'll give you one more fight
Said one more line
Will I know you

Now if you never shoot, you'll never know
And if you never eat, you'll never grow
You've got a pretty kind of dirty face
And when she's leaving your home she's begging you, "Stay..."

Laying on the ground
smoking another cigarette
while tears pour out of the corner of my kohl-lined smudged lids
choked up over discolored thoughts

Summer Plans

now playing: high | tove lo
mood: studious turned procrastinating

Very excited for the next two months!!
Hopefully I am able to see my favorite artist perform.
My entire August will be free, but hopefully I'll do something productive.
And when September arrives I'll be in Italy!!! I can't wait for Positano, Almafi, Cinque Terre, Capri, Sorrento etc etc!


16 July 2014

People are like nets. Some closely woven and others loosely. 

All nets tell you they will catch you when you fall. Until the split second you come in contact with the net, it sounds pretty trusting. 

Your fake friends are the nets that are loosely woven together with fake promises. Because when you fall into them they let you slip right through their loosely knit words

07 July 2014

She's Got You High

now playing: she's got you high | mumm-ra

Sometimes I get so caught up in the moment, getting angry and such at insignificant little things, that I forget to enjoy life and enjoy youth when I can. I know this sounds weird but I just went on daydreamgiselle.tumblr.com and viewed the tumblr via the page instead of on my newsfeed home page and I just remembered suddenly everything that inspires me and makes the person I am today. I started playing mumm-ra's "she's got you high" and although it's not a specific favorite of mine (or a favorite at all), I think because it's connected to 500 Days of Summer, suddenly the image of LA comes into mind and I think about Hanna-Beth and all those silly things C and I obsessed over, and the LA trips H, B, and I take during breaks....and everything just felt right and good.

I think I need to stop getting so caught up in the moment and just live. Live for the travels I yearn and the art(istic styles) that call out to me.

Ahhhhh I miss traveling.

01 July 2014

31+ Days of Health

Starting tomorrow
Short lab to Netktər. (week 1)
Progress route to a longer one. (week 2)
(week 3-4) "jog" the entire NW starting from house up to the hills then back down.

Starting August, wall stretching and crunches.
By the time school starts, I will be TONED FOR BALLET! :)

17 June 2014

things i love(!) tuesdays

-soft couch throws/blankets
-chocolate truffles
-[LPs spinning] dean martin and other 60's stuff [on vinyl]
-beach/ski resorts
-christmas time and the winter holiday season festivities
-new york city ♥

14 June 2014

Summer 2014 checklist

Some are places others are just "to do's", some are realistic & others not:

•Anaheim packing district
•The LAB anti-mall / Camp
•Pool days!
•LA trip (SF? Washington?)
•The beach
•Juice runs
•Target & Ulta
•Bike rides
•Coffee & ice cream dates (seperate)
•Clean out my closet / list sales
•Fashion Island / Spectrum / The Mall / Rack
•Paddle boarding / boat-ing / kayaking
•The outlet
•Get new makeup
•Movie dates!! / theaters vs redbox
•Movie on the lawn
•Look for "a summer commitment"

19 May 2014

Shallow Mondays

A list of shallow nonsense things I like (to do...which serves no purpose except making me happy):

-early mornings/dawn
-people watching
-being in Newport (being in beach cities/just by the beach makes me happy)
-shopping or brunching at FI
-movies at cinemas
-movies at the AMC in The District
-beach days, just lounging in loose shirts, shorts and sandals
-taking pictures
-wearing dresses and skirts
-shopping and browsing through Target even when I don't really need anything
-coffee chats at cafes (though I really should cut coffee out because it is so harmful for the body)
-going through organic markets; they have a very different smell compared to regular markets- fresh, raw, and earthy.
-drinks in glass bottles
-messenger bags, or shoulder bags, they feel much more relaxed and casual and sometimes you need a break off from being fancy
-salads and barely drizzled salads, healthy refreshing and a little flavor to give it a kick, and not enough to be unhealthy
-outdoor shopping centers at night

Some have been repeated over and over throughout the years.
I could go on and on and on.....until another day I guess.

18 May 2014


I remember every day that I spent dreaming.
Of leaving.This place behind I would run away from thinking' adding up all the days spent wasted.
Chasing the girls we hated.
Some things, they, they never change.
Take me back to the sleepless nights.
The stupid fights.
It never mattered who was wrong or who was right.
You're all a part of me.
We're alive and we drive to the center of it.
Where we know we're all fine and this just can't be it
And in the end we all know we only breathe for so long.
So tonight's the night we all roll along.
Nostalgia is forever me.
I miss you. My teenage years.
And we are forever one, and you are intertwined deep in my soul making the person I am today.

14 May 2014

No Time

listening to: Beach House's album Bloom
There is literally no time in my school life.
Ever since high school started, I feel like I've always been at school from 6am-"9pm"...literally like our official end time was 9pm but we never even leave school property until 11pm-ish because we're cleaning up. But seriously my teammates (aka family) and I used to LIVE in the west end of the school ⅔ of our time at school. If I wasn't in the practice room, I was on stage, or in the studio, or in the gym. Literally we used to lay on the gym floor like it wasn't dirty at all because we were always exhausted and that was basically our home, and our real home was our second home.
Coming to college, I think a lot of people think I have a lot of time because most of that time that people see, is time I spend wasted- procrastinating, but if I weren't, and actually utilizing my time with 100% efficiency oh my gosh I'd probably I don't know HAHA. Anyways ugh this is going back to freshman year college again!

Tomorrow my schedule is SO hectic.
9-11 english
11-1230 fair
1230-1 lunch
130-? counseling
2-330 math
330-4 abstract
4-6 meet up with "x"
6-7 dinner with family?

And then somewhere between that I have to go to the theater to buy tickets and go to the office. WHAT!?
I feel so overwhelmed. And right now I still have to finish my english reading, homework, film viewing, and then math homework.
Wowowowowowowow hahaha. I haven't even coordinated my outfit for tomorrow yet!
...and I just spent too many minutes typing this out, and frick me for being so lazy and weak, I took a 45 min nap earlier, someone slap me for being a lazy ass.


ψ θ φ ....and sometimes σ

Last spring quarter (spring 2013), I took electromagnetics physics, and my professor wrote pretty fast and not-neat, so that his phi, psi, and thetas all look the same...(and occasionally sigma). Yeah I gave up.

07 May 2014

Organic Mechanisms

"What does God want? Does God want goodness or the choice of goodness? Is a man who chooses the bad perhaps in some way better than a man who has the good imposed upon him?"

"Our pockets were full of deng, so there was no real need from the point of view of crasting any more pretty polly to tolchock some old veck in an alley and viddy him swim in his blood while we counted the takings and divided by four, nor to do the ultra-violent on some shivering starry grey-haired ptitsa in a shop and go smecking off with the till's guts. But, as they say, money isn't everything."

"There was me...my three droogs...we sat in the Korova Milkbar trying to make up our rassoodocks what to do with the evening. The Korova milkbar sold milk-plus, milk plus vellocet or synthemesc or drencrom, which is what we were drinking. This would sharpen you up and make you ready for a bit of the old ultra-violence."

-A Clockwork Orange

06 May 2014

Who's Side

I've been having a sudden adoration and gush of love for my school lately. Sure I liked the campus before, but most of my other feelings towards my Uni has been pretty neutral. I wouldn't say I disliked it but everything was just- "I'm here to learn, so be it".

I guess its a good thing. And maybe it's the sudden realization that I am going to graduate within a year or two.


Things I love (and inspire me) Tuesdays

- wing-ficked eyeliner
- golden age hollywood ("classical hollywood") cinemas/films and settings
- freepeople intimates
- 1940s - 1950s
-1950's print advertisements
- my Victoria Secret Noir Tease perfume with an atomizer
- phenakistoscope, zoopraxiscope
- cherry red nail laquer
- Inglenook Winery property
- 15 denier tights
- black lace
- porcelain skin
- femme fatale

Happy Tuesday!
xo i

05 May 2014

This is sad.
But I need to start a diet that cuts out coffee, and refined sugars.

/ healing auto-immune
/ cosmetics ingredients stuff

Coca Cola removing BVO from drinks

Newsweek writes that "Coca-Cola is in the process of removing brominated vegetable oil from its entire line of beverages... after PepsiCo announced it would remove the controversial chemical, also patented as a flame retardant, from Gatorade".1

In the article they also describe and define BVO as "...an emulsifier in fruit-flavored sports drinks and sodas to evenly distribute flavoring oils throughout the liquid" thus Coca Cola company will be "...transitioning from the use of brominated vegetable oil (BVO) to sucrose acetate isobutyrate (SAIB) and/or glycerol ester of rosin (singly or in combination)", as- “'Glycerol ester of rosin is commonly found in chewing gum and beverages, and SAIB has been used in beverages for over 14 years'" 1. However if you go onto the chemical company Eastman's website and look up what SAIB (here) is, you'll see that the description categorizes SAIB as an emulsifier ("chemical additives that encourage the suspension of one liquid in another, as in the mixture of oil and water in margarine, shortening, ice cream, and salad dressing. Closely related to emulsifiers are stabilizers, substances that maintain the emulsified state" (2britannica) ) from reading that SAIB is "...characterized as a modifying extender for film-formers and extrudable plastics" (3Eastman).

Waaait...but wasn't the whole point of removing BVO was that it was an emulsifier? The grossest part is where Eastman's info pamphlet says that SAIB "...is useful in lacquers, printing inks, hot melts, and similar protective and decorative coatings" (3Eastman). Ew wait, so they "improved" the situation by replacing BVO with SAIB...aka also used in inks and plastics?

BVO is "bad for you" because it is made up of and includes bromine which is toxic and corrosive aka poisonous.(FYI- bromine also acts as a sedative)//(btw- idk if you guys know but our breads today are made up of bromine instead of iodine which causes thyroid problems..that is why we should stay away/refrain from eating too many bread products..basically bromine acts as an endocrine disruptor aka "overdosing" of bread causes us to have low thyroid aka 'hypothyroid' problems....leads to cancer. (you're welcome) Consumption of too much 'bromide' products leads to the bromide replacing the iodine in our body....well there aren't a lot of foods that contain iodine and our body doesn't naturally produce it sooo load up on the seaweed??).4,5

I mean, I don't know much about SAIB and the exact negative effects of how its chemical structure affects the human body other than that it enlarges the liver.6 But, I don't think that consumption of chemicals that normally go onto wood floor hardeners or nail polish/laquers sound any better than loading up on bromine.
I guess my bottom line and point is....water is your best and loyal friend.


Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional or anywhere near being one. I am not saying that I am 100% right in every thing that I wrote above. This above is just a collection and composition of research/findings/and personal knowledge. Feel free to comment or correct me if you believe something is wrong. I am open to discussions and debates (not arguing/arguments). ALSO- sorry if the citation formats are wrong, but I did include source links to everywhere I seek knowledge and information from. Thank you for your respect.
Hopefully I didn't, but I tried not to "sensationalize headlines" or "cherry pick" results.

4(knowledge source)
5(knowledge from my dad)
6(US National Library of Medicine National Instiute of Health)

Go Wilcox!

"Kim A. Wilcox, chancellor of UC Riverside, today announced his intention to expand the university’s faculty by 300 ladder-rank scholars, provide for the addition of new facilities, and take new measures to achieve increased globalization...[Wilcox] called for several specific measures at UC Riverside related to faculty growth, campus physical planning and globalization.

Wilcox plans to aggressively expand the number of scholars on the UC Riverside campus, announcing that 300 new ladder-rank faculty members will be recruited in the next five years. He is beginning to convene discussions about what types of disciplines will see the most growth, he said, adding that diversity will be an important goal.

Wilcox announced his intention to accelerate planning for a new interdisciplinary research building dedicated to faculty research. The facility will provide 150,000 square feet of space for as many as 60 research groups. In addition, the chancellor noted the need for an events center that would provide indoor space for commencements, convocations, conferences and athletics events.

As regards future growth, Wilcox asked the community to consider building future facilities to the south of the campus along the 215 freeway. The location, he said, would provide 'contiguous research and instructional space to our south.'"


28 April 2014

Side Effects

I read somewhere that there's a difference between tears of joy and tears of rage. Is that true? It's in the chemistry, but you can't tell by looking, they all just look like tears.

22 April 2014

Standing Up For You & Other Feminist Things

Just like that I turned a film critique studying schizophrenia, multiple personality disorder, and gender-identification into a paper on feminism and the 'male gaze' and other shitty manipulative patriarchy rule...


21 April 2014

I need a job so badly.
Just buying pressed juice....and food is making me go broke.

19 April 2014

It's hard trying to super-human it all
you know?

Tryna two time this

1) successful student with a perfect....
internship, list of grades, student-teacher relationship, gym-attending record, networking pool, student-counselor relationship, campus involvement record, time management skills, record of using school resources...thing
2) inspirational, artistically diverse, and talented person with...
time to shoot  draft and market my stuff, perfect and unique outfit coordination, time to experiment with film more and digital format editing, time to trend scout and forecast, pursue my passions, time to find amazing tunes, practice music, study areas that I have passion in and for, go back to competitive swimming, get back into dancing..thing

But I just end up extremely over-worked, tired, unhealthy and unaccomplished.

17 April 2014



AND HOW DO I HAVE 550 PHOTOS ON MY INSTAGRAM ALREADY. #socialmediatidinessfreak

I'm also really frustrated about my pink earphones being broken on one side, which means I have to bring my white ones. So much for a backup pair.

On the bright side- I downloaded a few management apps that I really like. Something that made me slap myself back awake and to reality is that one of the apps provide the background info on the developer of the certain program I 'commit to' and their info was that they are "a entrepreneur / software engineer / Standford graduate /  olympic weightlifter / marathon-er" and.....that just made me realize how minor my problems are compared to what they've accomplished already. If they can do that, I should be able to prioritize efficiently and do what I need to do. Also, I've been happy with the traffic coming into Style Prosciutto despite how slow posting has been. UGHHSDLFKJDS:KFJSDLFds okay. back to work.

16 April 2014

Home is where your heart is set in stone

mood: nostalgic

Gabrielle darling, you bring me back to 10th grade,
...being in humanities with foreign yet intimate faces, and being in classes with my bestie, sketching dreams out and talking about living in LA, taking photos of each other like we were all that, myspace, trains, buzznet and hannabeth and audrey kitching, gloomy bear, and lots of UK/brighton influenced fashion, having fringes, and wearing tights and leather moto jackets...ahh and remember kaylee? yeah I wonder where she is now, we used to chat via msn, I'd wake up early because of the time difference on the other side of the world, and I'd write "becos" and "mum" and other silly british accents because I thought I could escape reality like that...
but resurfacing your music, is good, because I guess it brings me peace and serenity.
A part of me wants to go back and be the beautiful yet slightly deranged person i was before the real world got a hold of me and made me work only to survive.
Gabrielle bring me back to when I believed that I could live in dreams and pass my days as an artist, musician, dancer, wanderlust-ee, and a culture connoisseur.

Back to when I lived in dreams and self-faith, disregarding what anyone thought of me.
Ha oh I wish I had the same mentality.

15 April 2014


paranoid so I use the red pens from Target
paranoid so I have the adorable fresh&easy rubber key tag on my keys
paranoid so I keep my JCrew clothes extra neat
paranoid so I ... so I ... try not to fight with anyone.
I was always trying

14 April 2014

Keeping Up

now playing: Black Swan (film)

Went to exercise today, and got dinner early and showered.
Time to watch Black Swan and do the first draft of my paper.

Got in contact with a few recruiters, hopefully I get good outcome.
I still need to submit my main app though. Ugh, but I'm so behind with school work, so I guess that comes first.

So jealous of everyone at Coachella this past weekend, and I guess I will be again next for weekend 2.
Oh well, what can I do.

Talking to you like this.
It's so nostalgic, you know?

13 April 2014


My dad won't stop harassing me about stuff.
Don't ask me about it.

08 April 2014

& Counting

now playing: ungirthed | purity ring
current mood: panicking over unfinished english reading

3 tumblrs (one private)
4 blogspots (public)
1 public Facebook
1 twitter
1 private Facebook
4 emails
2 instagrams
1 vine

grand total: 17 social media sites (off the top of my head, not sure if i missed anything)

06 April 2014

Time Flies

now playing: Time to Pretend | MGMT
mood: sad
Okay, maybe 6 days late, but I just wanted everyone to enjoy my calendar as much as I do.

The color hue difference is due to the face that, I took March midday, and April early in the AM's.

xo i.

03 April 2014

"...'preferred reading,' which would simply take the program at face value, accepting its representation of family life as normative and natural. The oppositional reading, on the other hand, proposes an interpretation that resists the normative view, seeking to uncover a political subtext. The fact that so many cultural signifiers appear normative and natural, as transparent images of an apolitical social reality, can make oppositional reading look 'unnatural,' or like 'reading into' your topic a meaning that isn’t there. After all, isn’t a sitcom simply a trivial entertainment that distracts viewers from the concerns of everyday life? But from a semiotic perspective, everything in everyday life is potentially meaningful, a sign to be decoded, and the fact that something is entertaining is only the beginning of the matter. The next question is, 'Why is it entertaining and what does that say about
those who are entertained by it?'"(Masick and Soloman 12)
-Signs of Life in the USA

02 April 2014

Everything Is True To Me

now playing: Everything Is Embarrassing | Sky Ferreira

I just realized I didn't do my ritual start-of-the-quarter/semester class overview for this spring quarter. (So here it is...)
I'm taking 4 classes this quarter. I was thinking of dropping one, but the ones I was debating over to drop turned out to be totally too interesting to just let go!
Quantum chemistry: so far we are learning theories and conceptual topics. The vector calc has not kicked in...so that probably explains why. This 8am class makes me extremely yawn-y and sleepy when I don't get enough sleep the night before though. (I mean no sh*t hahah)
Applied Composition for Sci/Eng Majors: So I thought we would be doing a lot of medical or scientific research in this class and then writing research reports on our findings, except it turned out nothing like what I thought! So my professor loves Sci-Fi and Zombies, plus he was extremely considerate and emailed everyone in the class beforehand and asked about our majors and future professions we were considering, and with that he structured every week around a topic pertaining to a science or engineering major, and some articles and videos (south park, breaking bad, etc) as our homework. I thought it'd be a lot of work, but the books we are reading sound pretty interesting. Plus we get to learn about a different poison every class. Totally rad. (Week 3 is chemistry week, and one of our assignments is going onto twitter and observing how #chemistry is used online) B)
Ordinary Differential Equations: Takes place in the same classroom as my qchem class, but there's so many people that it is really stuffy and irritating, plus the board is so hard to see (mind you I was in first row but just on the side). The class seems really boring too, I wasn't a whiz at vector calc but at least that was interesting, this class....I don't know. I am just staying because I like my TA a lot, she seems super helpful.
Popular Musics of the World: So this class was a surprise to me. Our lectures take place in a(n) band/orchestra rehearsal room, (so there's just seats in an arched formation and stands in stand racks, plus an acoustically-favored designed room and walls). Initially I thought this class would be like a music history class on how music shaped the world...not that I was completely wrong, but it wasn't as boring as I imagined it to be. Imagine "'sociology' of music and culture's impact on society" + "how different classes view the music culture/industry to be" = a good debate and discussion class. Except most people in my class are either too lazy to care, too lazy to participate, aren't really cultured so they don't have much to contribute, or they don't really want to be in this class but just have to be so they just sit there....which makes it really annoying because it ends up being this debate between the professor, this super radical girl who has a lot of personal left wing opinions, and me...while the whole class listens to us like a talk show. I mean I don't know. But I like it. It is actually pretty interesting, and I would say it is like a class where we talk about how music unconsciously imperializes the mass and how corporate establishments and government are the control. etc etc etc.
Anyways. With more time to do things (surprisingly), I hope I can manage my time more efficiently this quarter. Better said than done, so I shouldn't be here.

SAFE? And Maybe Sound

mood: pumped (in a neutral way)
listening to: Beth/Rest (Rare Book Room) | Bon Iver


Next week though. Next week. Just the though of it scares, excites, and tires me all at once.


29 March 2014


craving: chocolate truffles
mood: awake
Went to Bloomingdale's friends and family pre-sale today and bought myself a leather jacket, a sweater top, and a clutch. Then had the most satisfying warm chocolate chip cookie from Pacific Whey Bakery. And before we went home, I bought a photo album and a cork board.

This entire break I've managed to organize so many things in my room that I've put off for years, and I'm so happy about it.

Rachel Zoe was at South Coast Plaza today! I missed out on that though. She was doing a signing for her book at Crystal Court.

I stil have a lot to do though...and school starts in two days.

28 March 2014


C wanted to catch up, and I thought it was only fair to spare some time since we didn't get to see each other during winter because she was busy with work. Met M and we all had lunch at Lemonade. Shopped around, then went to Triangle Square to bowl. Lovely seeing her again, and briefly catching up.

Don't tell C&M but I made B go to Whole Foods with me before triangle square to get my pressed juice :)

So these were from day 6, but I had macarons at LA, and work day, and I couldn't resist getting them again today. SORRY!!!!

Lane 8.  
Tvrn☆Bowl had relatively nice and new bowling shoes. B pointed the company or the stitching of the shoe....I forgot what, but basically they're really nice shoes. Meh beats me. Just as long as it is clean, then it is good. Plus it was one big velcro. Lazy for the win.

B bowling for the first time in many years. 
(Let me tell you- he was stellar, made many strikes).

My cute lil fashionista bestie over here making lucky throws.
But I have to say- you have to be really pro to be so lucky.

After an hour and two rounds of bowling, we parted ways. B and I caught a showing of The Lego movie after waiting many weeks to see it. Funny movie, if you care to know.

Came home at around 9, had two dinners, fruit, and this beautiful dark chocolate Häagen-Dazs while watching Barney Bear on MGM. (I absolutely adore MGM cartoons).

Tomorrow is the last day before going back to uni. I have yet to decide what I want to do- brunch by the beach? another movie? cleaning and working some more? read Porter & Elle? do some planning? ugh. So many things to do in so little time.

27 March 2014


Part time macaron addict, part time work-a-holic.
You gotta keep working until you don't have to introduce yourself.

25 March 2014


I went to Los Angeles yesterday. Super sad Wildfox didn't have their monthly sample sale, and won't be having it until summer. Here is a picture post guided by captions in a somewhat chronological order from yesterday.

We got to DTLA at around 10:15am and lined up for Sushi Gen's famous $15 sashimi combo. Includes rice, picked cabbage, tofu, and miso soup as well. (Not pictured) Definitely approved by me for quality and cut. You just have to get there 30 minutes or earlier before opening time to get seated in an adequate amount of timing. Otherwise you'll have to wait forever because the venue is small. They open at 11:15am.

Then we drove through DTLA, passing Angel's Knoll, Angel's Flight, and the Bradbury because we got semi lost on our way to ACNE and went to Chinatown and back. I was planning on Insta-directing this photo to H (as a memory reminder from our first DTLA trip last year during spring break), but I ended not doing that. So here is the picture.

Easing into fashion district through jewelry district.

Wanted to go to this UO location so badly, buuuuut I guess we didn't have enough time.
We went to FIDM first and their little costume museum. And walked to Bottega Louie because I had to get two of their salted caramel macarons. B got a raspberry beignet.

The amazing rainbow of macarons. and the beignets up on the wooden display plates above. 
B was so sweet, he saw that their boxes were pretty princess status and told me if I really wanted the boxes he'd buy three more macarons so I could have a box ^_^ but I said it's ok.

Ahhhhh so pretty.

And then walking back on Grand and onto 9th, we went to the sacred ACNE Studios that I've been waiting for since 9th grade.

*heaven noises*
The super cool sales lady inside offered us water/champaign/sparking water. We picked still, and these are literally the best tasting water ever. They tasted so.. pure and like nothing. I know that's a hilarious comment, but seriously usually 'bottled'/'glass' water has some kind of weird taste. It's from Denmark, so it says. "iskilde".

I loved their wooden clogs, but at ~$675 a pair, I don't think they're really affordable for me right now. Right now they have their spring/summer collection out, and nothing that I was interested seemed to fit me well. Maybe I'll come back in the fall for their winter line, and I'll pick up a pair of waxed pants as well. I seriously had a little sob fest in my heart though, I love ACNE studios. ♥

B wanted to go to Tanner Goods. Which was conveniently across the street. 
Inside we met Jess, a sales lady, who was super friendly and honest with her opinions. Extremely helpful as well. She invited us back for the official grand opening on Saturday, but I don't think its reasonable to make the commute again. Hopefully we'll see her next time we go. She let me use the jukebox which played 45rpm records, and at 25¢ I got three tracks of my choice. Very cool.

After that B let me go to the AA HQ, where I picked up a black circle skirt, (and wanted those sunflower shorts but the selections at the time were seriously too tight). I can't believe they're ripping off JuJu's though. AA used to carry JuJu Jellys, but they made this entire line of jelly sandals :\

Then in exchange for time, we didn't go to the DVF Journey of a Dress Exhibit, but instead we headed to Santa Fe for our beloved...STUMPTOWN!! ♥ Oh my gosh. I don't think words can describe them. Parallel yet different from Caffe Luxxe. But I think the heart emoji is the best way I can tell you about Stumptown Roasters. WILL. RETURN.

They had huge glass windows, where you can see equipment in the back. I THINK they are roasting beans. I'm actually not sure. I know they had a tasting room as well.

Almond and soy milk alternatives for preference. I like to keep it original.

After getting our brews, I had a (hot) latte, B had a(n) (iced) latte, we head back to the car, where we enjoyed our pastry/goods from Bottega Louie with our roast. ♥ ♥

What's in my bag: water, mints, wallet, pen, aviators, roll of 35mm, minolta film p.a.s., water, random receipts, hand sanitizer.

graffiti wall by santa fe and the 10-east fwy

We headed to La Brea; Self Edge. Then American Rag Cie, UNIS, etc etc.
So our last stop was the Grove LA. Union Made, Barneys, Topshop, Anthropologie, Banana Republic, Dylan's Candy Bar...

We ran into Charlotte Olympia's event at Nordstrom unexpectedly!!!

She's so sweet. And the event was so cute. I got a little Charlotte Olympia kitty nail deco on my left ring finger. And they had hors d'œuvre, champaign, water, and shoe cookies to entertain the guests!

I got a dashing little polaroid signed by Miss Charlotte herself as a keepsake :)

B and I selfie-ing while charging my phone in Gap.
By the time we left The Grove it was already 9pm. We rushed to Little Tokyo to go to Shabu Shabu House because I haven't been since I was probably in first grade. They didn't allow the use of phones inside so I didn't get to take a picture. But it's very yummy and I do recommend it to shabu lovers. The wait is between 45min-2hours though. B and I did luck out because we daringly went right before it closed.

Such a good day. Such a good trip. LA never fails to make me happy :)

22 March 2014


Currently Playing: Mr. Moustafa | Alexandre Desplat
Mood: Sleepy

Today B and I went to Mitsuwa to get lunch, and then the mall after.

Then we went to a cute 'historical' theater in Newport Beach where they always only show one film during a certain # of days. There's only one viewing room inside the theater, so it's very intimate. The theater was modeled after and inspired by Bette Davis- the ladies restroom had a powder room where there were three vanity mirrors and lotion, tissue, hair spray in front of a little seat where you can fix yourself up. The tiles and decor was overall very 1950's/60's... and in the viewing room there's a mezzanine as well! (pictures up on rêves estivates aériennes) ((at the end of our showing they handed us a little sherbet flavored candy, heheh))

We watched The Grand Budapest, which reminisced of melancholy. Very well done, and very symmetrical- typical Wes Anderson I'd have to say. A lot of his familiar orange and yellow tones and cursive, except this time the orange and yellow tones were for modern day and the flash backs were pink and blue. Loved it!

I had a great day, and can't wait for tomorrow to come.
xo i.

I'm Home!

mood: calm
now playing: i'm going down | vampire weekend

*apologizes for looking unwell, unhealthy, and overly underweight*

(Momo making a subtle awkward cameo in the back)

Finally done with winter finals for this year. Back at home.
B r e a k:
1 shopping x 3
2 dtla / silverlake / brentwood / hollywood / "dvf"
3 Grand Budapest / Mr. Peabody & Sherman
4 work day @ the lost bean
5 shooting
     a. planning
     b. drafting
     c. locations
6 photo diary
     a. format
     b. locations
7 brunch with C and M
8 1000 steps
9 bike ride

Wow- extremely packed for "break", but at least I'll be doing things I like.

19 March 2014


I dropped that one like a bomb.
Let's see how well I can avoid the next one.

Listening to good music, and trying to keep my peace in tact.
I haven't planned out spring break yet; I hope it's gonna be rad. And I hope to start getting back into shooting, exploring, photo shoots & etc. But for now I need all the luck I can get and perseverance to hustle it through my last two classes. And I will start by signing off.
Please send positive vibes my way. That will be greatly appreciated.
xo i.

12 March 2014

I just want to be able to dance again.
How foolish it was to not pursue my dreams for a boy, and to be afraid of being judged, though we are always going to be judged no matter what we do, where we go, and how successful we are.

It's never worth anything for anyone.
I'm just letting you know.

28 February 2014

And I don't care how high we are

Currently: burning 12 oz Saijo Persimmon Voluspa candle
Now Playing: What So Not | High You Are (branchez remix)

Soaking myself in The City and Olivia Palermo's bitchiness, screaming "twinning!!!" inside every time I see her glare at lowly peasants, all while working.
I just want to get out of here and live my dream.

Not just all talk, I promise I'm working hard on trying to make it happen.

Can't wait for the weekend to come,
I have so much planned.


13 February 2014

"This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do, 
but I'm still in it...because I think it's worth it"

I'm so sorry. But I am always grateful for your patience, and thankful for the endless forgiveness you spare to me time to time.
I've never seen a love deeper than the ocean or feistier than the day's sun.
And no matter what people say about us, I know that your love roots deeply into the center of our souls and binds us tightly together, allowing no one to loosen the knots we tie.
And to be able to have you as my trusty anchor to guide my ships home when the sea gets rough,
well ... I can't say enough how lucky I am to have you.

xo i.

12 February 2014

What have we done

now playing: Boy From The Sun | Niva
mood: drowsy
Trying really hard to stick to a no white sugar diet, but failing incredibly hard and giving in everyday due to what I excuse myself to be 'stress overload'.  Also trying hard to sleep earlier and wake up early everyday, the improvement isn't very rapid, but there IS improvement which I guess is what matters the most.

I made a playlist of good songs on my other account, because I haven't been doing that for the past few years, which make me guilty, and feel like anything but my creative self.

(I think) I'm starting to feel a sense of urgency, so my pace is picking up with being more independent.

Starbucks is promoting their usual annual "Share The Love" promotion this Friday, I think I'm going to buy B a cup of hazelnut macchiato :)

xo i.

ps, on another note- I've been so stressed that it's taken me over an hour to fall asleep even though it's the wee hours of A.M. , and the fact that I've been stress eating i.e.) an entire 4.5" diameter grapefruit in one sitting at 2am.
pps, I just had a random flashback to summer in Sonoma Valley, and even though I don't drink wine, I feel really....sad and yearn to be back in the lovely sun, venturing through vineyards, and dreaming under the misty skies.

11 February 2014


There's not enough time.
There's not enough time because I don't know how to draw lines.

There's not enough time in this world. Not enough.

10 February 2014

You Don't See Me Standing Here

now playing: dancing on my own | robyn

Sometimes you just have to relax and trust that things will eventually fall into place.

I'm in the corner, watching you kiss her,
I'm right over here, why can't you see me, 
I'm giving it my all, but I'm not the girl you're taking home,
I keep dancing on my own..

...I just came to say goodbye.


07 February 2014


now playing: 3 days | Rhye
I want to get back into yoga. Thinking back to how happy and open-hearted it made me when I practiced yoga, just tempts me and reminds me how much of a positive impact it was.
I should also look into study abroad and see why my application has been started, maybe it's a sign in addition to the continual run-ins with my ex-roommate who keeps asking if I've applied for abroad programs yet.

Another thing I've been really addicted to is studying at the local library by the beach. It's so beautiful, secluded yet packed with people all the time. It's like the best of...all worlds.
It always feels like I'm heading to my local paradise when I drive there, looking out the windows in between studying makes good daydreaming study breaks, and when it's time to go home, the sunset sky is always beautiful.

I started watching GirlsHBO season 3 this past week, and I think this season deals with a lot more real life-problems. It is a little heavy hearted at times, but I know that things will fluctuate back up in a few episodes or so. Marnie makes me sad to watch her make appearances because her broken heart reminds me of my past, but I'm really happy that she is so strong and uses working out as an anger-releasing alternative. She is actually a hidden 'subconscious' motivation for me this season (for a lack of better terms). And Shosh... I used to think she was SO annoying but as the episodes add up, and now that she's in school, her personality and newly developed maturity actually makes her really funny (instead of obnoxious) and sometimes I feel like "oh my goodness! I can relate to Shosh so well! Ahahah she reminds me of me sometimes!" I peeked at wikipedia, and I saw that GirlsHBO has been renewed for another season (4) and I am so excited! I hope GirlsHBO never stop! :)

Dew Drops

now playing: Bed Peace | Jhene Aiko x Childish Gambino
mood: relaxed

It is 1:31 am right now.
I went out side for a little bit a few minutes ago, and it felt amazingly fresh.
It is still raining, and I wish that it would never stop.
Looking up, I could see the dewy drops of water covering the night sky like fog.
Extremely beautiful and ethereal,
for a moment I thought I was in another world.

31 January 2014


Looking through old high school photos on a friend's Facebook account.
It makes me remember why I didn't have any friends- because my parents never let me hang out with them at all besides at school, and they went everywhere, had sleep overs and such.

I don't know if that was a blessing- to have not wasted time on people that probably wouldn't matter today, or a curse.

19 January 2014

The Past Is Just A Story We Tell Ourselves

currently: feeling quiet
listening to: photographs | arcade fire

Her (Spike Jonze) is such an incredible movie.
I cried on and off throughout the entire movie. The plot is very simple, as it is just about a disconnected man who has recently gone through a divorce, trying to find himself and fix his loss of communication, as he falls into a relationship with his operating system who is the ideal match for him as she was tailored and programmed to fit his needs best. I thought the cinematography reflect greatly on how the characters felt, using mainly red (as the theme), blue/black, and an overlay of white to soften and create this 'ethereal' sense of futuristic utopia. The entire movie is filled with modern technology, and touched with "60's architecture"- futuristic minimalism colored in with

Even if you come home late and I’m already asleep, just whisper in my ear one little thought you had today. Because I love the way you look at the world. And I’m so happy I get to be next to you and look at the world through your eyes.
-Theodore Twombly

I thought that Her was visually beautiful, and the writing was very....bitter sweet (for a lack of better terms). It made me feel very empty, lonely, yet connected. Nostalgic and sad. And I appreciate the fact that they used a lot of acoustic/piano music, and 'raw' vocals.
Definitely see it if you haven't! The writing is absolutely beautiful!


16 January 2014


Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. 
Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.

15 January 2014

Profound Wednesdays

Being profound and seeming profound. 
Those who know that they are profound strive for clarity.
Those who would like to seem profound to the crowd strive for obscurity.
For the crowd believes that if it cannot see to the bottom of something it must be profound. It is so timid and dislikes going into the water.

13 January 2014

I want

CDG x Play striped blue t
Celine 3 zipper cross body
Acne light wash jeans
?APC raw jeans?
APC Roma shorts 
APC C'est Génial t 

And these acne ami peach sandals 

Obsessions Inspirations and Role Models

now playing: beach house | bloom (album)

I need to reconstruct my blog and find my direction.

To turn away from all things glittery and gleaming,
it just turns to lust anyways.
Revive my old passion for the raw, true, wooden, grained and dust.
Kissing you under the moonlit skies next to the fire crackling away.
I'll dance for you in my circle skirt, until I find the truth in 35mm film.
Because digital is faker than the City.

http://love-aesthetics.blogspot.com *the usual
.....sophia's guide to paris

My 10th grade obsession is like a polaroid. It went away but didn't fade completely.
You won't know.
No one knows.

09 January 2014

God I'm so sorry.

Real Love

You know, you know, we belong by the stream, to the dawn

07 January 2014

Blank ruled paper.

Today was the first day of classes for this year and this winter quarter.
Analytical chemistry seems a little dry, I tend to drift elsewhere during this class. But the teacher is quite lanky, tall, yet nice. I coincidentally picked the seat next to T today, and I saw some people from my first multivariable calc class from last quarter. I just hope I can actually keep my mind in that class in the future, and that I can forever score that seat.
Biochemistry is alright. I can't say much about this one right now, except for the fact that it is in my favorite class room.
Multivariable calc (second part) is quite manageable today. We just learned how to solve double integrations, I believe they're called iterated integrals. He seems to be a pretty good professor so far, I enjoy the system he set up for homework, however I am a little worried because there are no quizzes. Plus the class is only three chapters long, and the first chapter only has three lessons. ???? Yes I'm confused as well.

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Reminiscing to a week ago...driving back to Las Vegas from Utah, and eating at The Buffet at Wynn. And then going shopping at the outlets, then driving to In&Out, and then dinner at Koba, and then the countdown.
Everything was good. Everything was great.
Winter break goes by so fast when you're working.

Sometimes I appreciate my work opportunity, but other times, I wish I didn't have a job until I graduate because when I finally get time to relax and make memories while "I'm young", I'm actually busy. I feel like all the seasons I enjoy, fly by so fast I can't even take the time to celebrate it.

05 January 2014

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I forgot my headphones
I lost (left?) my glasses (somewhere hopefully in the house)
I left my doc martens back at home
Why am I sleeping at 230a on day 0 of second quarter?

Having serious Europe withdrawals...even Maui's warm soft sands will suffice. I  want to be back on vacation.

Craving chocolate truffles, hot latte, and the comforts of your embrace. 
And recently I've just been mad about Nordstrom. 👗✨ 

02 January 2014

2014 Resolutions

1. manage and market Style Prosciutto efficiently.
2. get the internship
3. let go of all the negativity in my life, and every one that is bad for me.
4. become a better person
5. become more independent than I am right now
6. cut out excessive sugar & carb intake
7. find out what I want, and get it.

01 January 2014

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Hollywood and Brentwood, everything seemed to be good.
Only you, are still trying to sink my ship.