05 July 2016

troubled

Got so numb yesterday everything felt so right.
The waves of euphoria rolling through me, god it finally feels right. This is the feeling I've been searching for, too long.

I am so happy I was so happy. Everyone is so in love and the warm summer air brushed our arms under the dark navy blue skies. Everything moving so slowly...

I watched her light that cigar, please baby no.
In one minute of a time I watched what I thought to be innocent corrupt before my eyes.
I feel so cheated. So cheated on. Lied to, with my dreams shattered. One last hope of ambition pierced through the center with a mocking burn.


Stumbling down the street letting the lies hit me, I watched the fireworks go up and fall back down the street last night by myself as my heart broke and tears rolled. I've never gotten kissed under the fireworks, but I also never watched them on the fourth alone either.

I'm so broken. So broken. I don't know what to think what to do.

Spoke so much words, did you even speak the truth?
Trouble on my left, trouble on my right...
God don't let me lose my mind...

14 June 2016

summer

mood: sleepy & lovely
currently playing: riptide

It's the first week of summer break. I'm back into that work grind, have to work harder though...
I had a lovely weekend up in Big Bear with my org board members- absolutely fun and relaxing.
Going to be going back up to the mountains this coming weekend again with some other friends, hopefully things won't be too awkward or have too much tension.

parties on parties.
when am i actually going to start feeling something?

i smell like lavender (lush body scrub), sakura blossoms (shampoo), and macadamia and coconuts (conditioner) dreams right now
drifting off, into the land of sleep.

goodnight x

30 May 2016

Read a thing Danielle wrote. Though there was more at the end I connected with, these two were the strongest.

"...felt a disconnect from those whose lives weren’t snatched up by something so evil. I became jealous of the boys and girls who lived in a beautiful bubble while evil seemed to slip through in my life, with death and trials and sadness and unexplainable feelings

Impossible Waltz

And there we are, under the star-lit night.
Dancing in the bowl...
Waltzing to the first verse of the impossible soul.
Gaze locked into each other's souls.

Slow warm summer breeze sifting through our beloved youth.
Ignorance smoother than aged whiskey.
Love enough to fill the ocean.
I've just been in a dream, going away without you, trying to be something that I wasn't at all.

23 May 2016

Summer To Do

When prelims end:

Big Bear retreat
Continue the job hunt
Get back to working out at the gym
/on finding myself/
Beach day(ze)
Update brunchinglady blog
Continue vlog edits/upload
DC/NYC + Euro trip
Continue weekend coffee crawls
Learn Python
.
.
.
tbc....

21 May 2016

Listened to Your Problems, Now Listen to Mine

It didn't matter what they wanted to see
He thought he saw someone that looked just like me
The summer memory that just never dies
We worked too long and hard to give it no time
He sees right through me, it's so easy with lies
Cracks in the road that I would try and disguise
He runs his scissor at the seam in the wall
He cannot break it down or else he would fall
One thousand lonely stars hiding in the cold
Take it, I don't wanna sing anymore


...And all I hear is the last thing that you said
-dp


Hurts me so much; makes me nostalgic.
I miss you so much.

29 February 2016

Running to the Sound of the Light

I love the warm days spent listening to us in love,
wind grazing across our faces
cheekbones kissed by the Southern California sun.

I watched you dance on the soft brown sand
Droplets of the sea jumping along
And your carefree frolicking, tango across the malleable ground

The way you drop your arms,
hands slipping down invisible walls, skirt circling
and your beautiful caramel hair floating around you like fairy thread, glistening.

You ask me to come along
and I say- baby girl, I'm already there.

hippie child
sweet bambi love
my only one

I am in love
I am in love
I am in love with you in dreams.

05 January 2016

new year, new resolutions

Just came back from Japan, school has officially begun again. But I guess that would be another post are saved for another day.
This year, I resolve to...

1 Stop wasting time (same as last year)
2 Get another internship
3 Stick to a workout routine (unsuccessful last year)
4 Learn at least two skills off of my list of technical things I'd like to learn
5 Try to do my own work, mind my own business, and stop worrying about people trying to take me down
6 Cut back on coffee intake (unsuccessful last year)
7 Stop buying cheap things, establish a sense of style (still a work in progress)

I'm glad that I was able to meet almost all of my resolutions last year.
-i