24 April 2015

Suburban and Typical

Since when did we grow so far apart and different? (Since when did you get so rude)

now playing: teenage icon | the vaccines ♥
mood: tired

Powerpoint done, now time to work on my poster.
➣Glad that tomorrow's meeting is pushed back 30 min so I can get something to eat, but a little nervous about having another phone?video?skype? call with the HQ because I need to go to office hours but I really need to keep up with what's happening in the lab as well
➣This weekend's gonna be tough. I need to finish my poster (probably 3-4 drafts + printing time), complete my report, study for organic synthesis class so I can actually actually come up with intellectual questions and go to office hours for that, complete paperwork, go bowling, and see Age Of Adaline (for Lana bae).
➣Had a fast, lowkey, yet enjoyable Thursday. Friday's going to be a slide into the chaotic weekend.

21 April 2015

I've felt so shitty everyday this past week, I haven't gone to any classes or lab, just laid in bed and do work an hour before it's due. All my growths have gone undocumented in research, only an ID number to make sure I record it down sometime. God save me.

Bleachers | I Wanna Get Better

my head hurts
i can't stop crying
and i feel sad.

the next few months are going to be of these annoying posts.
brace yourselves.

20 April 2015

Things I Noticed

1. Everything is a Schrödinger's Cat experiment and in a paradoxical state if untouched or avoided, the possibility of it being bad or good is at equally probable, so we cannot be certain of anything and the outcome until we conquer it.

2. As crazy as I am sometimes, I prefer retreating back to calmness and (literally) keeping things low-key, and I'm so happy I (kind of) realize the person I am /found myself/, and I think that this is hard to see become I come off as a slight extrovert in public

3. Anything is possible

4. I have this trend of hiding my face in pictures

5. You can't push me, no one can- and I'm not saying this in a confident sassy way, I literally mean that nothing, no deadlines, no bad grades, no person can push me unless I feel like accomplishing something, I won't do it.

6. Life is a circle but it is also a bell curve, we're alone at the end in the end. People come into our lives to teach us something but no one is going to be here forever

7. Forgive and love. It'll make the world a better place. An eye for an eye makes the world blind.

8. Invest in shoes, is possibly one of the most important thing that B has recommended to me that I've never realized

9. Life is crazy, within a month's span I've gone to a funeral and a wedding, and I've also had many small life events that I've never had before, we can't stop time to slow things down and pace these events, but we can treasure the times we spend with each other.

10. The hardship you encounter before your success is a blessing in disguise, and that no matter how hard things get, we have to remember that every cloud has a silver lining.

Happy Monday.
xo I

14 April 2015

B and I got tickets to see Sufjan Stevens the week before our last undergraduate finals!!! I'm so excited because it's going to be at the Dorothy Chandler Pavillion music hall! And we were lucky enough to get middle/centered orchestra seats too. Gahh!! :)

Side Effects pt 2

Imagine everything you ever wanted shows up one day and calls itself your life. And then just when you start to believe in it - gone. And suddenly it gets very hard to imagine a future. That's depression, right?

Today in class some guys told me that when they first met/saw me they thought that I seemed really cold/intimidating/mean/entitled and that I seemed like I had my shit together and was always really serious, until they got to know me better then found out I'm actually "really chill and nice". They even on further went to mention that I have the same vibes as one of the meanest chem professors we have on campus. Entertaining.

It amuses me, to hear that, a little. Who would've ever known I'd turn into someone that went from looking like "Nice Girl" to "Killer Girl". I guess that's what stress and messing around (and realizing that there's no more time for fun) too much does to you. It's like they say- "...there's a difference between tears of joy and tears of rage. Is that true? It's in the chemistry, but you can't tell by looking, they all just look like tears....". I guess your emotional state can really change your physical state.

(Just watch the first one)
Guys like Jimmy Fallon, Ryan Gosling, Joseph Gordon Levitt- soft and goofy ♥ unf
But really, Jimmy Fallon is so funny I love it xD

13 April 2015

Remember Me

"You once told me, our fingerprints don’t fade from the lives we touch. Is that true for everybody, or is it just poetic bullshit?”

Having another fucked up day.