07 June 2018

Weekly Gems

Some of my weekly musings:
[to READ]: Control Your Life. | Untouchable Day.
[to WATCH]: Saw Upgraded when I went home, I think it has a good plot that makes you think about biotech implant/AI ethics.
[to LISTEN]: Navara, Op. 33 | Sarasate
I started reading an ebook since I wanted to make most use out of the tablet. I'm reading Maddie Dawson's Matchmaking for Beginners, I didn't think much of the book when I downloaded it, but after reading it for a short hour on the plane I got totally sucked into it. Recently, I have been visiting the doctor every week for the past three weeks already, seems a little sad but also reassuring at the same time. I got my first physical ever today which felt totally invasive, and they gave me a (my long overdue) tdap shot. All health related things seem to move so fast ever since I started seeing my physician here, I haven't had a primary care physician since I was probably an infant. It feels overwhelming to have to make so many (big) decisions so fast. I'm still practicing meditating with Headspace, probably not as religiously as I'd prefer but it really helps calm my anxiety. I have scheduled a(nother) appointment to establish mental wellness care. We will see where that takes me.

Bad things recently:
-I have missed one whole night of pages because I was having a breakdown and I didn't think properly about how if I ran a requalifying sample, I would have to monitor it until it finished. Result? My engineer freaked out, probably got mad, and thinks I am really irresponsible. After telling them I would work on not doing it again, I did it again later that night because I didn't think that I would have to follow up a lot to make sure it passes. Why? I don't know. I'm not in a wonderful state of mind.
-I feel that I have been very explosive with my train of thoughts, projecting my unidentifiable source of anger and anxiety onto my personal relationship. Result? Self destruction of my relationship done by my own self, what's new?
-OL drama w Trev

Good things:
-This should be filed under materialistic things, but Peter and I got tickets to go to Outsidelands again this year! Except this year we are only going for one day. I'm very excited since it will be on my birth day!
-Nothing much. A lot of family drama that I don't wish to be a part of.
-Ok, I shouldn't be so negative because that is what I'm working on. Here's one thing: I've cut shopping down for a bit and my bills are set to auto pay so I'm not freaking out about that as much anymore.

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