19 April 2009


we had our WGSCA championships yesterday. my goodness the start of it was not going so well. before we left we left the snacks and a rifle at school. then at San Juan Hills HS, sara had lost the keys and our CD and CD players weren't working. the worst part was, we had forgot half of the purple flag back at school which means half of the people couldn't perform the first half of the show. Luckly, there was a school that had similar colour and patterned flags so we borrowed theirs; from scrippt high school. however, the flags were weighted better than ours and was 6 feet tall, ours were shorter. :l during the show, we dropped way too much and it was almost worse than our performance at san diego. i felt so ashamed during the show...i had dropped three times, and i never drop during competitions. i had failed my solo feature and triplet feature. and now obviously i had lost so much general effect points,later when we were folding the floor off the gym floor, we went over by 19 seconds....

during the awards ceremony, we had our roses, and wore our tiaras, glowsticks, and leis necklaces, and held everyone's hands while walking out. we just prayed for something above 15th place, like just alittle. and then as they were announcing the green division, from the bottom to the top, i asked jenny if it was our division and she said no, so i turned more impatient as they finished up the green divisoin when all of a sudden, WITH THE SCORE OF 82.20 a SCORE OF 82.20....NORTHWOOD!! our team kinda just stood stoned there, like out of it, because we thought 1) it wasn't our division 2) ya right we did so bad how could we possibly placed 2nd 3) OHMYGOODNESS REALLY?

we walked out and some freshman in the team were pretty shocked, and some looked like crying ahahaha we were happy. we recieved second place, a silver medal each, and a letter for our letterman jacket, and a picture as a team(: i was proud but disappointed in a way.

we later found out that the team that placed first was the team that lended their flags to us, so in a way it was good karma and they deserved it, as in like if they hadn't given us their flags, we wouldn't be able to have made such a good show and placed second. the only disapointing was that we lost by .1 our score= 82.20 their score = 82.30 wow right? just because we went 19 seconds over when we folded our floor and someone stepped out of bounds during the show. STUPID penalties D:< hahaa but i guess its all good at the end because we had put everything into it, we had worked toegether, and best thing was the judges told us that we technically won they had wanted us to win and they were mad that we didn't..it was our penalty that made us loose....so (: i guess you can say, we had invisible gold medals (: :: Scores from RA Championships at San Juan Hills HS

Regional A Green
1 Scripps Ranch 82.30
2 Northwood 82.20
3 Canyon HS 81.40
3 Katella 81.40
5 Santana 81.10
6 San Dimas 79.00
7 South Torrance 75.50
8 Montclair 74.80
9 Huntington Beach 73.50
10 Pomona 71.90
11 Hilltop 71.20
12 Foothill 70.20
13 Bishop Amat 66.40
14 Santiago (Corona) #2 63.20

...after all that, grace's bday party ahahha. we ate at macaroni grill, and we went to AMC to watch 17 again. that movie was sooo cute and it made me so sad :l ahaha and zac effron was so cute hahah X] ughh now it made me totaly think back and wished that we were still together ]:< ughh im so depressed now. blahhhhh why was i so selfish, why was i so clingy, i hate myself. 17 made me cry so many times. it was so sweet :l

i kinda wanna see it again.

(ps. i wrote this all during my break at DSC hahahah oops my bad)

13 April 2009

like a waterfall in slow motion

Það besta sem guð hefur skapað er nýr dagur
(The best thing god has created is a new day)

im suffering from a heartburn and indigestion :l
its coming back.
all the ed things.
the meds.
those nights


08 April 2009


"You never come back, not all the way. Always there is an odd distance between you and the people you love and the people you meet, a barrier thin as the glass of a mirror, you never come all the way out of the mirror; you stand, for the rest of your life, with one foot in this world and no one in another, where everything is upside down and backward and sad." -b.o.a.d.

we dissected our fetal pig today. i was so sad and saddened by just the process and the image of it. theres too much formaldehyde that is still stuck in my nasal passage that it floods my head and nose, trying to kill me with painful burns and headaches. help.

i absolutely cannot wait for spring break. i want to get ahead on going over to northern california to look at my future schools and get ahead on artwork, go buy my shoes, and get ready for championships on saturday and the part.

hello ED,
we meet again.
i ask of you to please leave me
you hung to me from 05 to 07.
i followed you, only to be left shattered in the remains of what i thought were my dreams. you told me lies. you made promises.
you left me standing wondering what i should do next; you led two years of my life, not much, but a huge impact.
all what was left of what you didn't take was a few flesh and bones, no just bones.
my sad corpse.
she gazed out to the non existing world.
laying her hand on the glass that seperates her. from them. from you.
shut up
the buzzing noises soothe when you stop. when we join hands. when i touch you. when death and i are just a breath away from each other.

my bmi is 15.3 if you do care. i hope you're proud of me.


05 April 2009

just luck.

"In a dream i was a werewolf
my soul was filled with crystal light
lavender ribbons of rain sang
ridding my heart of mortal fight..."

this weekend was totally rad. after school on friday, ashley and i went to watch the fast and furious. we got starbucks from barnes and noble before the movie started. we pissed the worker off cos ashley told her she wanted a mintmocha frap, but they didn't have it so she changed it to the green tea frap, the lady thought ashley wanted the greenTEA so she had to cancel and change everything. when it was my turn, i wanted an iced caffe latte, and the lady's like "an ice coffee"? and i was like sure. cos you know, its coffee too! so she made me a black coffee, and then i was like, "excuse me i wanted a latte" she got mad, called the manager and changed it. but it was good anyways ahhah. the movie was really good. it was intense. during the evening, mum took us to souplantation for our traditional fridays haha. on saturday we had our last competition at corona, it felt good to perform this ave maria show for the last time. i felt sad too, a little disappointed that i never took this too seroiusly, and i was always like "ohhh here we go again." because i now realize that i will never perform this same show again with the same people and the same coach becos there will be new members next year and miss belieze and a new show. it was a lucky day though, we placed first in our division again (: congrats nhsguard. ily ♥ . after all that, mum let me go to bamboozle with my sister from 4-7. originally she didn't want me to go, but since i came home too late, it was too late to sell the tickets anyways. I bought a shirt from babycakes, met we the kings and my children my bride, saw nevershoutnever perform, and got an airbrushed tattoo. its so pretty! its a dancer behind my right shoulder. and today i dont even have homework! :D this is a wonderful weekend.

My day tomorrow:
Mijn dag van morgen:

Ma journée de demain:


7.00 wakeup lazy head
7.45 Off to school
8.30 history with MISTER MAMER oh hes cool
13.45 School ends
16.00 Piano lessons
18.00 guard practice until 20.00
After that: The usual. Music. homework. procrastinating. sleep deprived.


01 April 2009

when we were young.

look liz :D when i first met you on link crew day, what i thought of you ahahha how cute :] . ahhg so much innocence, no drama, just pureness. i crave those days :l

im looking through my old myspace, getting ready to delete it..and i see all those times when there was no backstabbing, and Im just beginning to meet the future me, and I see how I meet people from different middle schools, and just added kids from my school too. I see immature AIM convos that were forwarded to friends. ahh i wiped all memories from my old myspace. ;l