10 December 2013

things i love tuesdays

+ hot drinks {lattes / teas}
+ pink peonies
+ girlsHBO
+ tweed jacket.
+ skirts
+ brunching
+ d'orsay flats
+ Musée d'Orsay
+ Viktor & Rolf's Flowerbomb
+ chatting with friends at breakfast
+ accessorizing with scarves

+ good playlists.

09 December 2013


The softness of your skin, graces me under the pale moonlight.
Your tender lips, gradient pink and white in a perfect oval, misshaped.
And those doe like eyes, looking just so shallowly into me. Missing all my sins.

I touch your shoulder, and let my fingers run down your arm.
Your skin, so beautiful, a tender raw white.
Our palms touch and fingers align.
You firmly grasp my hand and you speak to me.
I cannot hear you.
But you smile at me.

Spin your head towards the window towards the unlit-back of the cabin.
We sit under the glass window, tagged by the moon light.
Beautiful long, snow hair creating the most perfect circular rotation, just barely grazing me as they pass to catch up with you.
You point and tell me that just beyond those hills, lay a beautiful oasis, filled with beauty, youth, innocence, and safety.
Fear fills your eyes as you tell me...
We need to go
I hold your face close and cradle your chin.
Forehead against yours, I close my eyes and tell you not to worry, because you are safe with me.

I feel your soul warm up as you give me your trust.
It's time
With movement slower than the pulse of a heavy heart, I draw you close, and fixed pose you lay your lips on mine, and with a cracked smile, I don't hesitate as I suck all the goddamn filthy innocence out of you.

Lifeless, your beautiful body folded over upon itself on the darned wood.
Hair caressing your broken porcelain skin.
Lips faded black,
 so I thought.

Did you really think that I would fall for that, for you?
I love a good beauty, no need denying that.

08 December 2013

Scared to make the move that would bring me a step closer to my dreams that I've had since the beginning of high school. I'm scared because I don't want my parents to get mad at me or people to judge me. I want to be there and I want to get there. But I don't want to be laughed at because I have no skills or talent.

I have such big stupid dreams that only a few people could ever relate to or understand. 

06 December 2013

my text book questions that no body will ever answer

On a quest to find a way for mature stem cells to not reduce with increasing age....

-I wonder if there's anyway to slightly speed up cell duplication and then use very mild chemotherapy to cleanse our bodies of mutations.
-So you mean if one day, we run out of combinations for recombination, does that mean that we won't have enough diversity to cover our immune system? Or does our variety increase as viruses and bacteria grow stronger and multiply?
-Does that mean that cold sores use recombination to insert their genetic material into the cells on/around my lip's DNA?
-By using recombination can we create the perfect child?

05 December 2013

I am tired of being ugly.
I want my dreams to come true.

But I think that's up to me to make it happen. Because as I like to believe, we chose to be who we are today.


welcome home

xo i

Lessons on Thursdays

Really disappointed in myself in wasting time, and being too stuck up three to five years ago.
I could have build bridges with really good people across the globe now.

I guess I'll just have to learn from these mistakes and be more humble, and appreciate what I have and take the time to absorb things when I can.

01 December 2013

chic obsessions

Smoking flats, midi skirts, pleated skater skirts, and (most) dresses are so chic!
Pink peonies as well, with a glass of pink champagne and dreamy film photography.
And seal it off with strawberry lipstick.


Kate Bogucharskaia by Billy Kidd.

It's December 1st.
Where did all of November go?