Caring Is Creepy

now playing: no shade in the shadow of the cross | sufjan stevens
mood: tired

I was going to complain.
But then I realized that it wouldn't solve any of my problems.

It's hard trying to keep up with everyone's demands/requests when you set high standards for yourself and people expect higher because you set the bar high already.

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Getting there is like learning a new song on the piano/viola/marimba, trying to perfect a technique in dance, or trying to get perfect catches in guard even though your hands have lost all nerve-related-feeling for the week. When you've perfected everything, people, from the outside, see you as this beautiful thing and envy you. But when you're still on the road, it's blood, sweat, and tears. Everything hurts and frustrates you. The road is long, tiring, and lonely. But once I'm there I know looking back will be bitter-sweet and the end is rewarding.

I just want to go home, go to the beach, lay in the warm sand, smell the salty scent of seawater, listen to the waves crash, and temporarily forget everything :'- (