12 June 2017

I wish people would understand

the anxiety that cripples my mental and physical wellbeing
the feeling of being scared when I sleep alone at night
the feeling of slowly drifting into this never ending spiraling pit of dark and numbness
the [good] feeling I get when I binge to feel but the [bad] side effects of that that floods me with guilt
the terrible stomachaches I get and how the only thing from stopping me from not actually throwing up from being so inconveniently nervous and anxious is that I fear throwing up more than most things in the world
how inconvenient my lack of hunger is 80% of the day, but also how inconvenient the look for my sudden need for binge is

But most of the time I feel really whiney when I have to explain this to people and of inconvenience. ugh i hate everything. everyone.

I wish people valued and emphasized mental health more. And I wish there was better treatment for mental wellbeing instead of just drugging people up.

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