Wednesday

now playing: Bon Iver
currently: reading 40 some pages of a handout for English class
I miss New York, and the things that go along with it- Balthazar, SoHo, 5th Avenue, the honking of taxi's, sewer steam from the metro, the concrete jungle....

I miss taking pictures, film especially.
But I've been really inspired by Visual Supply Company's "Features" section, and I love love love VSCo's app for the iphone, to say the least.
-i

Girls

currently: going through a 'in the moment' blogging craze
now playing: Overdrawn | White Sea
So recently, or more specific this past Thursday, I started watching the HBO series Girls and I have to say it is really addicting, realistic, and therefore relatable- making the show down to earth and lovable. It's said that Gossip Girl was written about teens going through high school and college, while Sex and the City is on the married life and women wanting to be free and young again, thus Girls is centered around what happens in between that, the awkward phase where young women are fresh out of school, unemployed or just starting jobs, getting into and out of relationships, exploring, and the mayhem along with it all.
Oh, and I absolutely love the soundtrack.

(photo cred: cnn.com/HBO)//This is totally irrelevant to the tv show, but rather another update on my life- so I've been trying to start working out again, in hopes of improving my health and toning up. Hopefully going to the gym this quarter works out consistently.
-i.

sugar cookie candles

currently: belly down in bed typing away
listening to: frankie valli and the four seasons
I have been burning candles everyday, not sure if it's good for my health or not, but it sure smells great and relaxes me because who isn't relaxed by the scent of sugar cookies?

We put lights up today, and went to watch Gangster Squad- absolutely good.

-i

Voice

I am really uncomfortable with my voice and when I hang out with people. I feel like I always have this choked up voice that's about to spew something incredulous out of me when I talk. It's like congestion mixed with your voice breaking before you cry. Plus I hate being socially awkward. It just makes everything worse.


I rather type everything up and write to people than talk.

I hope everyone's winter break is going well.
-i

post-thoughts

listening to:梁心頤 - Darling
mood: empty
Finals are finally over. In all honesty- I do not think I did so hot in organic chemistry. And I vow to myself that I will try harder next quarter in every subject. I am so tired of everyone giving up on me, losing faith, but at the same time I appreciate how no one bothers me about it anymore.
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I wish I could be a better person. I wish I could be a calmer person, with patience that flows forever and knowledge that runs deep. Of course that would depend how much perseverance, determination, and dedication I have towards that matter. I need to learn how to stop wasting time. I think that I am slowly getting better in that area, not very pronounced but I know it has improved within the past 3 years. Something else I want to improve is my vision. I should stop spending so much time on my phone and computer. Also sleep earlier. I know this all sounds like random rambling and resolutions that will never be resolved but I think that the more I think about it the more effort I will put into making it happen.
-i

fresh tuesdays

keyboard clicks, 35mm film, never sleeping, constant sleeping, milk skin, red and blue edged international mail, a lover's smile, strawberry popsicles, improv accordion tunes on the bank of the Seine, vinyl, inky fingers, december, world maps, bookshop smells, basements, art, exploring, red nail varnish, old architecture, cotton paper, The Weeknd, cafés, independent blogs.

I love the way you look at me under the dim lighting that flows through the dark mahogany wood on a foggy grey afternoon. x

beautiful youth

I want to go to Paris, shop the streets of Champs Elysee, and get macarons from Ladurée. I want to see all of Paris from the top of the Eiffel and walk along La Seine at night. I want to people & fashion watch in local cafes while drinking latte. I want to visit patisseries early in the morning, and bring back pain au chocolat & baguette for my lover and me as we enjoy breakfast together. I want to fling the French language off the tip of my tongue as you tango words back at me, together we can speak this gorgeous language. I want to live a beautiful life, together in the city of love, and the city of lights.
I want to swim in the Italian oceans with my lover, hike the hills, and taste the strawberry gelato from local vendors. I want to ride a pastel yellow vespa, holding my lover as spend lazy afternoons in Tuscany. I want houses that resemble castles covered in vines, and hidden behind dense wooden gates. I want to make meals that only my lover and I share as we celebrate every meal with Italian red-wine from south Lombardy. I want pizza that isn’t cardboard like every one in America. I want happiness and only love and no stress.

I want a dreamy life with european countries and la vie en rose playing as the soundtrack of my life…if only.
one day.